Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
