theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
