Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
