If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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