whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
