No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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