mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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