He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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