You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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