when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
