Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can't turn off my feet"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
