I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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