It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
