I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
