just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
