I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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