I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
try to milk me bitch
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