But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
