Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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