And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
