It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
