she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
