Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
