there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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