Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
