So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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