final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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