i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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