great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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