I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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