Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
