3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
