Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
