..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
