Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
