its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
