She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
