she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
