Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
