And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There was a lot of him and a little penis
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
