We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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