there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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