in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
