i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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