I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
