Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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