I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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