Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
