I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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