Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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