operation harelip BJ is a go
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
