Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
