lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize