meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize