But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
