All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My balls are so social today.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
