She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
