YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
