i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
