If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
